Criminal
by LuxKen27
Summary: Oneshot. What if you don't realize you've wronged someone until its too late? What lengths will you go to to redeem yourself, especially to the one you love?


Title: Criminal

Author: LuxKen27

Universe: Canon

Genre: Drama

Rating: T

Warnings: Character death

Word Length: 3507

Summary: What if you don't realize you've wrong someone until it's too late? What lengths would you go to to redeem yourself, especially to the one you love?

Disclaimer:_ The_ Inuyasha _concept, story, and characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media._

"_Criminal" © 1997 Fiona Apple_

.xxxxx.

"_Die_, Inuyasha!"

The arrow screeched as it flew through the air, its aim sharp and true. It hit its intended target and drove him deep against the trunk of Goshinboku. Inuyasha looked more surprised than hurt, his muscles working involuntarily as his youki attempted to drive away the spell.

"Kikyo?!" he mumbled, his voice a mix of disbelief and anger.

Kikyo let her bow drop where she stood. Her right shoulder slumped, her arm numb and useless, and she slowly bent down to pick up the jewel that flew out of his hands. "The Shikon No Tama," she said, closing her fist around the sacred jewel. "For such a thing, you would betray me?" She looked up at him, tears spilling over her blood-stained cheeks.

The overflow of emotion connected with her sealing spell, strengthening it. She watched as he lost the struggle against her magic, his eyes slowly closing, his face falling into innocent repose.

"I was such a fool," she groused, "to think you'd ever follow through on your promise, to think we could ever have a normal life together." She trembled violently, eventually losing her balance and falling on her side. It wasn't long before the villagers caught up to her. She could hear the pounding of their feet against the earth as she stared up at her love, pinned to the tree with a single, deadly arrow.

Her heart swelled with guilt and sorrow as she laid there, her sister crying out and falling by her side. How had it all gone wrong? Why did Inuyasha betray her? Why did she react as she had, hurting him the only way she knew how? She closed her eyes and turned her face into the grass.

_This wasn't what was supposed to happen._

"Sister Kikyo!" Kaede wailed, bringing Kikyo's fading thoughts back to the present. She could feel the blood seeping from the wound on her shoulder. The gashes ran deep into her back, nearly flaying her.

"I am not long for this world," she said, turning to look into her younger sister's horrified face. "Take this, Kaede, and burn it with my body." She extended her hand slowly, stiffly, and deposited the blood-soaked Shikon No Tama in Kaede's hands. "I will take it with me to the underworld, so that it will never again fall into evil hands." Her eyes fell closed again, and she felt the life drain out of her body…

Kikyo's eyes opened, and she found herself staring at the scene she had just left. She looked up from her prostrate position to see her beloved Inuyasha pinned to the Sacred Tree of Ages, and one glance told her that he was not the one responsible for taking her life. "Oh, no," she whispered, anguish filling her, overwhelming her. She covered her face with her hands as the realization hit her.

"Oh, yes," a voice replied, breathy and soft and carried on the breeze.

Kikyo froze, slowly lifting her hands away. She looked to her left, then her right, but found herself alone at the base of Goshinboku. That's when she noticed that she was wearing a long white kimono and obi, the clothes her body was dressed in for her funeral pyre. They were pristine, no trace of her wounds or her blood.

"Yes, you are in the afterlife, Lady Kikyo," the same voice said.

"But this is not heaven," she stated, "nor hell." She looked around, anywhere but at her beloved hanyou, trying to locate the origin of the voice.

"No," it confirmed. "You have been condemned to stay here and forever look upon your final action in life, for you used your spiritual powers for an evil purpose."

"But Inuyasha stole the Shikon No Tama from the village, and broke his promise to me!" Kikyo protested, still facing away from the tree.

"Your heart was open to manipulation long before the grievous injury you suffered, which clouded your judgment," the voice continued.

Kikyo looked down at her hands. It was true. Long before she'd even mentioned her plan to Inuyasha, she had known the feelings of guilt and remorse. She had been resentful of her life as a wandering priestess, a lone demon slayer cursed to purify the Shikon No Tama, to care for others and having no one to care for her. She knew well the loneliness of life as an outsider.

…

"_Why won't you ever finish me off?" Inuyasha spat, annoyance clear on his face and in his voice._

_Kikyo merely stared at him, her bow still drawn. Slowly, she loosened her grip and replaced the arrow in her quiver._

"_Stop coming after the jewel. I have no wish to waste any more arrows on you." She turned her back as he struggled to free himself from the tree._

…

She knew, from the first moment he'd clumsily tried to attack her, that he was just as desperate and lonely as she was. She could tell from the way he approached her: at first, in direct conflict with a childish battle plan, to strike her down with his claws. She'd fought enough demons to know how to easily deflect such an attack with her arrows and spells. Then he started to follow her, watch her. She could feel his youki permeating the air, especially as she travelled through the forest near the village.

She'd found a kindred spirit, even if she didn't want to admit it.

…

_One day, as she sat among the wild flower fields, she felt him slinking ever closer to her. _

"_Inuyasha, you're out there, aren't you? Come and join me!" she called. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she waited for him to appear. _

_Slowly he descended from the treetops near the edge of the clearing. She saw the suspicion clearly on his face, and he advanced towards her cautiously._

"_This isn't a trap, is it?" he asked as he sat near her._

_She didn't acknowledge his question. Uncertainty and excitement flooded through her as she navigated this uncharted territory. This was strictly forbidden, talking to a demon, especially one who so desired the Shikon No Tama._

"_This is the first time we've spoken up close," she said, sliding her gaze to him. She felt her cheeks color slightly before she continued. "We're quite alike, you and I." She hoped he understood what she was saying. "That's why I didn't kill you."_

_He looked surprised at her confession. "Is that supposed to be an excuse? That doesn't seem like you." He crossed his arms and looked away._

"_I suppose you're right, it isn't like me," she replied slowly, crestfallen. She gathered her bow and arrows and stood, turning to leave. _Was I wrong to think he could understand?_ she mused to herself._

_Inuyasha looked back as she rustled about. "Kikyo, wait!" he cried._

_Her eyes widened, her heart pounded with hope as she turned toward him again._

"_Let's meet again, to talk," he said, watching her closely as she considered his offer._

…

As the memory of the soft, hopeful look on his face flashed before her eyes, she winced. "I've been careless with a delicate man," she cringed.

"It's a sad, sad world, when a girl will break a boy just because she can," the voice mocked.

"It wasn't like that," Kikyo argued, starting to rise before realizing she was still alone at the tree, with only the pinned Inuyasha for company. She turned again to face him, looking closely at the figure now bound to the tree with its roots. He looked so innocent and peaceful in his artificial sleep…

They continued to meet in secret, escalating until the meetings were daily. Inuyasha gave her little presents, one day bestowing upon her the last little pot of his mother's lip color. The thoughtfulness of the gift had surprised her, confirmed her dearest and most secret wish – that he was beginning to have feelings for her like she had for him.

Her answer was to bind a special rosary, one that she could use to control him. These thoughts and feelings of love were new to her, and forbidden to her as a shrine priestess. Her powers would weaken if she stooped so low as to fall in love with this half-human, half-demon creature. Would she allow these emotions to overcome her duty? She was desperately lonely, and he was paying her so much attention…

She couldn't give him the beads. She would not control him, and would not allow him to control her.

Soon after this, the plan to solve all of her problems took hold in her mind. She could have Inuyasha and leave her duty behind all at the same time! It was the ultimate purification of the jewel, and her escape from the lonely, desolate path she had been forced into.

…

"_Inuyasha, have you ever wanted to stop fighting? Stop fighting all the time?" Kikyo turned her tired gaze to his. They had started to work together, to slay the bigger, more powerful demons that came after the jewel._

_Inuyasha's gaze was a mix of suspicion and hope. "What do you mean?" he asked._

"_What if you could become human?"_

"_Me? Human?" He looked down, considering the idea._

_Kikyo bit back a smile. "It's possible. If we used the Shikon No Tama to turn you into a full-fledged human, it would be completely purified, and would probably cease to exist." She wanted so badly for him to agree to her plan. She wanted to put him out of his misery, his isolation, his loneliness, and for him to reciprocate the action._

"_What would happen to you?"he asked, his gaze still closed._

"_My duty is to protect the jewel. Without it, I could live the life of an ordinary woman." Kikyo allowed herself to smile at the thought, reaching out for him, taking his hand. "We could live together, as regular humans, among other humans."_

_He stared at their intertwined hands. "We would be normal? No longer outsiders?"_

_She nodded, the excited butterflies dancing in her stomach. _Please, please agree with me_, she hoped, her eyes shifting over his face as she watched him think it over._

"_I'll do it," he vowed, moving close to her and wrapping his arms around her. "I'll become a human for you, and let you become a normal human, too."_

"_Inuyasha," she whispered. Her pulse raced as she clutched at his red haori. She was so happy that he agreed, so confused as to what to do now that she was where she had so longed to be: in his arms._

"_I love you, Kikyo," he said softly, lowering his mouth to hers. His kiss was sweet, so full of promise, but it couldn't melt her doubts away._

…

"Do you know yet why you are here?" the voice asked her, again soft and neutral.

Kikyo lowered her head. "I've done wrong and I should suffer for my sins," she replied.

She remembered now the last night she was alive.

…

_She had gone to the temple in a rush, almost as soon as she left Inuyasha's side. She knelt before the altar and clapped her hands together in desperation. Guilt overwhelmed her. It would take an entire night of prayer to absolve her of her sins._

_She was torn as she knelt there. She wanted so anxiously to be off this journey of carnage and sorrow, of lonesomeness and despair. She wanted to experience the same things other girls were learning at her age, facts of love and lust and men, of being a wife and mother and woman. She never thought she'd covet such things. She thought her will was strong enough to avoid temptation._

_But she never guessed she'd meet someone like Inuyasha, someone who needed love and affection just as much as she did. He was a different sort of outsider, but he knew the life she knew, and they could come to understand each other in time. As long as he could give her what she needed, she could find it within herself to give him what he wanted._

"_Heaven help me for the way I am," she whispered, her hands growing clammy as she contemplated her recklessness. "Save me from these evil deeds before I get them done. I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand, but I keep living this day like the next will never come." _

…

The errors in her thinking were glaring now in hindsight. They _were_ the same, exactly the same. She was no more entitled to love and happiness and normality than he was, just because she was "already" a human and he wasn't. She couldn't quite wrap her mind around the way she was prepared to use Inuyasha to gain her freedom.

"Yes, you are your own murderer," the voice said, bringing her out of her thoughts. "Your thoughts, fears, doubts about your plan were repaid to you in kind, but along the way, you took an innocent hostage."

Kikyo's eyes raised to Inuyasha's form, unmoving under her spell.

"You are here now because you seek guidance to be true. Not only to yourself, but to this young man," the voice continued. It seemed to be growing stronger and moving closer.

A hand touched her shoulder, and Kikyo nearly leapt out of her skin. At her left elbow an apparition appeared, cloaked in glowing white. The hood of the robe completely obscured the being's face, and the only limb visible was the hand at her shoulder.

"Do you wish to see what lies in his future?" it asked her.

Dumbfounded, she could only nod.

The apparition lifted its other arm (sleeve?) and waved it before her eyes, washing life back into the scene. Kikyo watched as the roots grew over Inuyasha's sleeping form, as several seasons passed without notice. Her heart began to ache for him, as he was just as lonely as ever, trapped under her seal.

"I don't know where I can begin," she said, but the spirit quieted her.

The voices of soldiers wafted in from the right, and Kikyo turned to face them with a feeling of dread. They were rowdy, drunk on enthusiastic victory. As they approached the tree, one of them snapped to attention.

"What's that?" he asked, pointing with his sword towards the tree.

His comrades bumped into him like dominoes. "Hm, I'm not sure," they mumbled, talk rising among the group.

One stepped forward, a cocky grin on his face. "It's a demon, boys," he said, his voice high and clear. "And one that will be easy to slay!" A cheer rose from the group as the man stepped forward.

"No!" Kikyo cried, reaching out. Her companion caught her arms and held her fast. She stood helpless as the man advanced to Goshinboku and looked at Inuyasha with an appraising eye.

"Seems he was spellbound to this tree," he announced, drawing his weapon.

"Doesn't it seem too easy?" one of his fellow soldiers called out. "How do you know it's not a trick?"

"Only one way to find out for sure," he replied. With one swift stroke, he separated the head from the body. It fell to the ground with a sickening thud.

"_No!_" Kikyo shouted, pushing against the arms that held her. "This is wrong! He is defenseless against those who wish him harm!" She shoved hard against the spirit's bonds and fell to the ground.

When she looked up again, Inuyasha was intact once more, though still pinned to the tree.

"You know what you must do," her guide told her. She sensed its presence hovering over her.

Kikyo's mouth drew down into a hard line. "Help me, but don't tell me to deny it," she commanded. She stood up again and faced the glowing, ethereal being.

It wore no expression, merely hovering in place. "You must look within yourself."

Kikyo nodded, understanding. "My motives must be pure. I must cleanse myself of all the lies and destruction." She glanced back at Inuyasha. "I've got a lot to lose, so I'm betting high and I'm begging you, before this ends, just tell me where to begin."

The spirit began to waver, the glow of its robes fading. "You know what you must do, Kikyo. You know how to solve this problem. Look deep within yourself, within your selfish heart, and you will find the answer."

Kikyo opened her mouth to question it further, but it disappeared completely. Not even the voice remained. All she could hear…see…_feel_…was the gentle movement of the breeze. She was alone.

Alone. Just has she had lived, and died.

The painful realization spread behind her temples, causing her head to ache. How could she have mucked everything up so perfectly? Her death was in vain. She thought she would follow him to the afterlife, but she was stuck in limbo instead. Maybe she wasn't worthy of his love after all…

She walked to the base of the tree and climbed up the roots, until she was face to face with him once again. She gently touched his hair, his cheek, his lips. "I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against," she said thoughtfully, "because he's all I ever knew of love."

Inuyasha's body pulsated with life once again. His eyes cracked open as he felt his youki rebel with renewed force against the spell that sealed him. "I smell it," he muttered, his voice rough with disuse. "I can smell the woman who killed me, and she's coming closer."

The scent was rapidly approaching him, and his grinned with untamed fury. Closer…_closer_…

"Augh!" She fell to the ground with an undignified _umph!_, cowering and covering her head with her hands. He couldn't help but laugh.

"What are you doing, Kikyo?" he called out, catching her attention. "Why don't you kill your centipede friend like you killed me?" He could feel the presence of the other youkai, but could not see it as it flew high above the treetops.

He looked down at her. She certainly was dressed strangely, and looking at him as if he'd grown another head. "You look pretty dumb down there, Kikyo. What are you waiting for?"

He was mildly surprised when she stood up and walked right up to him. "Kikyo! Kikyo! Whoever _she_ is, she's not me. I'm Kagome! _.me_," she enunciated, pushing her face close to his.

He caught a good whiff of her then. "Hm? You're not her," he breathed, amazed. How in the hell could she smell so similar?

Kagome opened her mouth to argue with him, but the centipede youkai grabbed her instead. "Give me the jewel!" it hissed.

Kagome screamed, latching onto his hair. "Let go of me!" she screamed, resisting as hard as she could.

"_You_ let go of _me_!" he snarled. He tried to move his arms, but found they were frozen at his side. He was beginning to contemplate this when suddenly the girl was slammed against him. The youkai squeezed them against the tree with her body, laughing as it scooped up a shining pink orb with her tongue.

_That's the Shikon No Tama! _he thought, again struggling against the bonds of the roots and the arrow. "That's mine!" he shouted as the centipede swallowed it. He watched with consternation as the centipede began to shed its body, the jewel's powers shooting through to reveal the demon's true form.

"Hey," he said in a normal voice, for Kagome was right up against him, struggling to free herself from the suffocating hold. "Do you think you can remove this arrow?"

"What?!" she huffed.

"No, you must not pull it out!" another, older voice shouted. "He must not be freed!"

Inuyasha could feel Kagome hesitating, weighing her options. He was annoyed enough by her scent and her extremely close presence, but that little remark put him over the edge. "You want to be centipede bait, old hag?" he replied. "If that thing completely absorbs the jewel, we're all gonna die! At least with me you've got a fighting chance!"

Kagome gasped against his chest. He looked down at her. "So, how about it, girl? Are you ready to die?"

She squeezed her eyes shut. He saw her arm working up from its place at her side, and his heart surged with anger and pride.

"_Revive_, Inuyasha!"

.xxxxx.

Author's Note: This piece was inspired, in part, by the song "Criminal," which I thought was the perfect theme for Kikyo. (It was an interesting challenge to desexualize the lyrics, believe me!)

This was also a by-product of the anime special "The Tragic Love Song of Destiny," episodes 147-148. I really feel like Kikyo didn't get a fair shake in the anime; her character is much more sympathetic, and has more depth, in the manga. Not to mention, key scenes between her, Inuyasha, and Kagome play out very differently in the manga. So I encourage you to check it out if you've only watched the anime!


End file.
